Origin : http://www.essayforum.com/writing-feedback-3/describing-person-admire-589/
Hi
Please tell me about this essay I wrote about a person I admire, and I choose 2 characteristics that describe his personality.
I would like to talk about the man, whom I speak about him with my friends.
He is generous and kindness with everyone, he always like to help someone, and doesn't expect return, because his precious.
He is in charge of private charity association in his home town, they help many families, habitat, education for poor children, and health.
He is my relative, and is living far away from my home tow. Whenever I met him I like to sit with him and have a talk. He is kind of person you admire him, the way he is talking, and the topics is discussing. He convenience you, and never talks about nonsense topics.
Sometimes if I have problem I like him to share with me and advise me what to do to solve that problem. He always telling me to be honest with my self, and respect other opinions.
Greetings!
I'll be happy to help you. It's quite a challenge to write an essay in a language that you are still learning, and I think you do a good job of sharing how much you admire and respect this person. I will do some editing for you, to help you with your English:
I would like to tell you about a man I talk about with my friends.
He is generous and kind with everyone. He always likes to help someone, and doesn't expect anything in return. [The rest of that sentence didn't make sense, so I took it out.]
He is in charge of a private charity association in his home town which helps many families. It assists with habitat, education for poor children, and health.
He is my relative, and is living far away from my home town. Whenever I see him I like to sit with him and have a talk. He is the kind of person you admire, the way he talks, and the topics he discusses. He [convenience you -- not sure what you meant here], and never talks about nonsense topics.
Sometimes, if I have a problem, I like him to share with me and advise me what to do to solve that problem. He is always telling me to be honest with myself and respect others' opinions.
Best of luck in your studies!
Thanks,
Sarah, EssyForum.com